chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
