im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
