just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
two words...techno handjob
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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