We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
