Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
