one might say we're banned from that church
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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