I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
