PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
