I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
