Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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