You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
