I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
