I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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