I like my sex mixed with concussions.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She's the barista slut.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
3 2 1 whiskey
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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