at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I could fuck to npr.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
