Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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