Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
