first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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