Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
