i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
