how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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