Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
