Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
