the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Can I color on your dick again?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
