Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Mom said you looked used
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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