btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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