woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Is Oprah even human
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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