i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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