Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
