im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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