She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
