he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
