I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
