I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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