She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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