I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
