i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Mom said you looked used
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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