he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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