I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Randomize