I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
