I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
