you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
