I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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