Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
