Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
