If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
