Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I wear drunk well.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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