She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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