No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Randomize
