He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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