I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
